for beautiful girls, here some notes

I don’t have the most perfect skin.
I’m sorry I don’t look like a Victoria Secrets model
I’m sorry I don’t have the best style.
I’m sorry I’m not tall.
I’m sorry I’m not perfectly skinny- 5’7 nor 100 pounds.
I’m sorry I have stretch marks here and there. 
I’m sorry I have bad hijab days. 
I’m sorry that I’m plain.
I’m sorry my eyebrows aren’t thin and perfectly trimmed.
I’m sorry my face isn’t caked in make-up.
I’m sorry that I can never meet society’s standards.
But you know what? 
I don’t need to care about society’s criteria. 
I don’t need people to tell me I’m beautiful.
I don’t  need compliments to make me feel better. 
I don’t need a superficial love that can’t withstand a stretch mark here or chub there.
I don’t need to keep sinking into a never ending pit of low self-esteem.
Because I looked to Allah, and He told me the perfect recipe to be Beautiful.
Not just temporarily, but forever. 

“And the servants of the Most Merciful are those who walk upon the earth easily, and when the ignorant address them [harshly], they say [words of] peace,…” [25:63]

“And [they are] those who, when they spend, do so not excessively or sparingly but are ever, between that, [justly] moderate {25:67]

“And he who repents and does righteousness does indeed turn to Allah with [accepted] repentance. And [they are] those who do not testify to falsehood, and when they pass near ill speech, they pass by with dignity. And those who, when reminded of the verses of their Lord, do not fall upon them deaf and blind. And those who say, “Our Lord, grant us from among our wives and offspring comfort to our eyes and make us an example for the righteous.” Those will be awarded the Chamber for what they patiently endured, and they will be received therein with greetings and [words of] peace.” [25:7


Ya Allah, when the world criticizes me a million times over
Ya Allah, when the world keeps telling me hurtful things
Ya Allah, when the world keeps pushing “ugly” at me.
Give me the courage to hold firm to your Deen. 
Ya Allah, as long as I am beautiful to you, nothing else matters. 

Ya Allah, even when everyone leaves my side, let me take comfort in the fact that
You are closer to me than my jugular vein [50:16]


p/s: cari lar redho Allah,bukan redho manusia.nescaya Dia akan bersama kita.

sunrise

flowers are real.

starshine

aduhhs.. sepatotnya sejam yang lalu aku da siapkan assingment yang kena antar esok. tapi tak tau..dok lagha apa buang masa.usha blog awek cun mekap tebai, waww bossan gwe tengok.

sejujurnya minggu ni sememangnya sangat stress. nak gadoh pum minggu ni. nak mintak maaf pum minggu ni jugak. nak nanges pum minggu ni jugak. orang yang tak tau cerita pastu nak menyibok bawak mulot pum dalam minggu ni jugak. minggu ni jugak nak tengok masing2 nak tinggikan suara.tak da minggu laen ka. stress gila aku.stress dan geram.malangnya kegeraman aku dilepaskan kpd someone yang tak sebersalah.hehee.. nasib baik dia sabar dengan aku,aku pun pelik camna dia bole sabar.pelik. you're interesting,you're different and i love that.maybe bcause you're rare.. waww heheheheheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee apa benda aku ni.      lepas satu salah faham, jadi pulak satu salah faham. lepas tu gadohhh.. elok lar kan. lepas tu mintak maaf.. lagi elok. sejuk perot mama. bukannya aku gadoh dengan orang. masalahnya aku tak bole tengok lelaki disrespect perempuan tu ja.kenapa lelaki nak tinggikan suara dengan perempuan sedangkan bukan lelaki ka yang sepatotnya protective n tolerate?trauma. takkan dengan awek hang ja hang nak jadi protective, takkan dengan awek hang ja hang nak cakap elok-elok,be equal.just dat. tak tew lar.. kalu aku nak fikir orang sakitkan hati aku, kenapa tak aku consider aku ni penah tak sakitkan hati orang? life's fair.oke, aku terima. these things will slowly fade away, insyaAllah. dan kepada seseorang yang disayangi, heheeee.. jangan stress2 nanges2 sebab perempuan(s) yang suka menyibuk hal orang then buat assumption sendiri watsoever lar kan. nanti tak bole masuk klas sebab sakit kepala.huhu.aku risau oke.walaupum muka aku cam tak da perasaan. kepada miss yang kawin dengan patrick starfish tapi skandal dengan hero tamil, rilek suda kalu orang tu tak mau buat cam biasa,tu masalah dia,yang pastinya Tuhan mesti nilai usaha kita untuk memulihkan keadaan. dan kepada si green addicter,hang ni awat aneh sangat suka speaking bahasa kodiang :P      weh apa benda aku nak bat dedikasi kat sini pulak

oke.aku rindu famili aku.aku rindu mak aku.aku rindu ayah aku. aku rasa cam nak call ayah aku tapi satu sebab aku tak da credit,dua sebab aku tak tau nak cakap apa.hahaha. last time aku call ayah aku sebab aku mimpi ayah aku sakit.waww.. tak tau pasepa. dan ayah aku cakap memang dia tak sihat. waww kuat gila instinct aku sampai termimpi-mimpi. sebelum tu aku ada call ayah sebab nak tanya ayah aku blood group apa(padahal aku da tau),cuma mencari reason behind the calling. ego gila aku tak mau cakap kat ayah aku,aku rindu dia. ada sebab kenapa aku jadi camni. sem ni study week cam panjang ja.. harap2 aku bole lar study up skit. hahaha apa benda aku ni. aku cuma tak mau kecewakan ayah aku berulang-ulang kali. sebab ayah aku paling banyak support aku financially,sejak aku lahir.lahir2 ja pakai pampers pakai buang,membazir btui. ni pun cam dedikasi ja.

weh aku tak tau benda apa aku karang ni cam panjang ja. k bai mengantok giler. benda asgmnt tak buat lagi.sksdjfaaafhdjshuehdusadhndnfjdjeiejdhjfjdjfjdsjsjjhfdfsjjjdhjhdjcodeerroresjfkjsddjcsggfdsdfdfdghykiu;p[o'[p;7u65yt5y5thyy7i87i76u6yyyyyy65y65y655y6uyu676uhgjhjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjggggggggggggggggggggggdddddddddddddddrtrytunnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn6666666666666666666666666666777777777777777oppss tertekan.malas nak tekan backspace

hari ni aku hilang respect untuk seorang lelaki.

a moment of impact.

tragedy can turn our lives upside down. and actually end up defining who we are.

i have a dad.

"the girl becomes a mother when she fells the baby inside. the boy becomes a father when he lifts her up, embraces her and makes her feels safe."

i have a dad. our relationship was a little bit broken. all i know is i loved him from the start. as i grow up, i slowly understand why he can't always be there. and i always miss him. i miss you, i miss you so much. i just can't tell. please know. i love your jokes eventhough i rarely laugh at them. when you let me go, i finally believe you believe in me. thank you for all the hard work raising me up.

istidraj

aku baru belajar perkataaan baru, istidraj. rupanya istidraj tu nikmat yang Allah kasi tapi Dia tak redha sebab hambaNya selalu bat maksiat. waww tatotnya. rasa cam ada jugak ja istidraj dalam hidup aku. tak tau. bahaya lar kalu camni, perlu muhasabah diri. cuba kita tengok sekeliling kita, apa yang kita ada, apa yang kita dapat, bole consider istidraj tak? wallahualam.

TAKUTLAH KAMU TERHADAP KURNIAAN ALLAH S.W.T YANG SELALU KAMU PEROLEHI SEDANGKAN KAMU MELANGGAR PERINTAH-NYA, JANGAN SAMPAI KURNIAAN ITU SEMATA-MATA ISTIDRAJ. (FIRMAN ALLAH S.W.T DALAM SURAH AL-A’RAF, AYAT 182): KAMI AKAN BINASAKAN MEREKA PERLAHAN-LAHAN DENGAN JALAN YANG MEREKA TIDAK SEDAR.

lagi-lagi masalah remaja adalah couple.hehee. oke ni sebagai contoh. seorang perempuan couple dengan seorang lelaki, tapi mak perempuan tu cam tak kasi. perempuan tu pun dengan bodohnya memberontak sebab dia nak jugak dengan laki tu, dia tak mau putuskan hubungan dengan laki tu. at last mak dia fed up dan kasi lar anak dia tu bercintan. then anak dia engat mak dia da kasi tapi sebenarnya mak dia still tak redha dia dengan lelaki tu. begitular kisahnya hahahahaha!!! oke. ini serious. redha Allah juga bergantung kepada redha ibubapa. engat tu adik-adik.. bila mak tak kasi, jangan buat tau.

ftf

370HSSV 0773H

WELL ALMOST EVERYONE SAID LAUGHTER IS THE BEST MEDICINE BUT WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU LAUGH FOR NO REASONS. YOU NEED MEDICINE THEN. I KNOW YOU DON'T REALLY GET ME. HAHA IDK

DEAR SOMEONE/EVERYONE ASSOCIATED,

SORRY IF I CAN'T EVEN SMILE OR TALK TO YOU, THAT'S SIMPLY BECAUSE

I'M ALLERGIC TO HYPOCRITES.

WHEN I FORCE MYSELF TO PLEASURE YOU, I'M ACTUALLY TEACHING MYSELF TO BE SUCH YOU. SO YOU'RE NOT PERFECT, I AM EITHER. YOU MADE MISTAKES, SO DID I. SO YOU CAN HATE ME. I JUST CAN REALLY GIVE FTF.

beautiful discovery

the secret of happiness in life is by counting God's blessings inside and outside yourself. when you see how much blessed you are for what you have. and happiness is not really about money liquidity, because money can't grow, it just can lavishly gone. also happiness is not something you have to struggle for and not rather something you have to cry on. remember everyone who always cares and cheers you up, forget someone who always hurts you. open up. love your friends. and.. most importantly love your family no matter how broken it is. love grows.

don't let someone to bring you flowers, plant your own garden and decorate your own soul.

"it is not happy people  who are thankful, it is thankful people who are happy"

appreciate each and every acceptance.

you know.. what really makes you special is not you your own self, what make you special is everyone who loves you. you will be emptied without them.

well to know you actually mean something for someone is a great feeling , in that you have to let go of something you can't fix. dear everyone, time heals.don't be sad. say true and only the real one will stays beside you. :)

that's all thoughts for today. i don't know what actually encourage me to write this entry. haha

gudmorning starshine, the earth says hello! i want to move on.